The soup pot we used to whack the TV with when it cut to static has outlasted the TV and the channels displayed on it.

I don’t have time to skim the whole thread so I’ll just say it. I go to the cashier because I like the conveyor belt.

Possession of carbon monoxide is legal but liberals keep saying you shouldn’t keep it in your house.

I would pay the price of a Tamagotchi for fuckerberg to rip his face skin completely off.

Don’t forget contusions the biker got a contusion.

Look at the bicyclist laying unconscious on the road in front of the car. There’s your source.

They need to bring back nacho sombreros with queso in a divot at the top

“Would you like to see your future living room with beige painted walls? Before I hit send on this prompt I just gotta ask. Do you want to see what it would look like with beige painted walls and Steve Buscemi taking a dump on a glass coffee table? I know a guy who sells glass coffee tables about three blocks from there. Free delivery on orders over forty dollars. Mention my name and he’ll throw in two years worth of glass cleaning supplies.”

Instead of people getting killed by cars discussion should be about stuff like pocket pussys that fit in a tailpipe and how to safely rev an engine while mostly outside the car.

He’s ugly, like look at him, it’s a damn shame.
Just remember no caps when you spell the man name

This little guy is a feral who showed up one day and moved right in. He disappeared for half a year and I thought he was dead. Turns out a neighbor’s daughter took him in and moved him to The City for a while. When he reappeared I felt the polar opposite of what the image in the OP conveys.

President Camacho found the smartest guy on the planet and listened to him despite Not Sure having a peanut size head. The world around Camacho improved and he had charisma. He left office when things were on an upturn and burrito coverings were doing better. Camacho was the kind of leader people would watch fuck. There would be an epidemic of hysterical blindness and riots if the sitting and shitting president got on TV and fucked. The difference between President Camacho and the other one is night and day. One has brown skin and white underpants. The other one has white skin and brown underpants.

Brought to you by Carl’s Jr. Fuck you I’m eating.

If you’re looking for good soundtracks from Genesis era games start at Pictionary.

Are you trying to stop me from eating the pineapple?

Every bite of pineapple sends you to hell to shove a pineapple up hitler’s asshole

A car with a broken window can still move out of the way. Slashed tires park it in the way for longer.

mint condition barbed wire

Mint condition is probably the worst condition to be using barbed wire in the given circumstances. You have weasels ripping your flesh and shiny new barbed wire? What you’re setting yourself up for is a case of rabies and for some reason leaving out the lockjaw you can get from rusty barbed wire. So you’ll have a case of the rabies and not have a case of lockjaw to stop you from biting your friends.

The cure for artificial intelligence is 100% organic stupidity.