It’s the late 90s. I’m 13 years old, living with my family in an old house out in the sticks. I’m home alone late at night (a very uncommon occurrence) and I put on the movie Full Metal Jacket, which I had never seen before.

Spoilers ahead (Do I need to call out spoilers for a movie made 40 years ago?)

The main character, “Joker,” is in boot camp. While on night watch, he finds a squad mate, “Pyle,” sitting on the toilet holding his rifle. Pyle is slow and has been getting bullied throughout the movie. He puts a magazine in his rifle and says some creepy shit… he has clearly lost it. Joker tries to talk him down, then gets the drill instructor. The drill instructor yells at Pyle. Pyle smiles, then shoots the drill instructor dead. He points the rifle at Joker then sits back down on the toilet, puts the barrel in his mouth, and blows his brains out.

I’m not exaggerating here: the power goes off at that exact moment; I see a close up of Pyle blowing his brains out all over the tile wall behind him then everything goes black… pitch black. Like I said, I’m in the sticks. There are no streetlights or nearby houses providing any light, and not much moonlight; It’s all just darkness.

Im 13, alone, and freaked out. I can’t see shit and don’t know where a flashlight is. I stumble around for a while and finally find one. Old house bonus: the house has a crusty old fuse box, not a circuit breaker, and the fuse box is outside. I find a fuse and muster up the courage to go out there. I go out to the creepy, spider infested corner where fuse box is, find some more courage (or maybe desperation), and start swapping fuses in the hopes that one is blown. I just about start crying with relief when I find the right one and the lights pop on.

I did not finish the movie that night.

I was “don’t take that kid to a store full of expensive fragile shit” age and disposition.

My mom took me through the expensive fragile shit section of Dillards or some other mall store.

Pitch black. The first thing everyone heard was my mother, standing next to me and holding my hand with a death grip, yelling “STRANGER DONT FUC-UH-SHITTING MOVE GODDAMIT”

My soul rocketed out my ass directly through my pants and I did not fuckuhshittingmove.

I was in traffic 30 minutes away from home when the 2003 blackout started. That was a long drive home.

I was working at my power plant and it turned into an 18 hour shift lol

I was busy getting absolutely sloshed on scotch at home alone because I was an alcoholic, the power went out, and I thought “I’ll light some candles and read a book in bed!”

Promptly passed out and woke up to the smoke alarm going off with flames crackling up the wooden bedside cabinet and the mattress starting to smoke, burning my forehead and some of my hair.

The only reason I didn’t die is because I forgot to close the bedroom door, the smoke detector was out in the hall. If the door was closed, the room would have filled with smoke and killed me before the alarm went off.