For me it’s time signatures in music. I grew up playing instruments, played in several orchestras, etc. But no matter how many times someone tries to explain time signatures to me, it makes no sense. I don’t understand why people place such importance on it. To me, notes have a pitch and a duration, maybe some dynamics. That’s it. I don’t understand why people try to needlessly complicate it. It doesn’t give you anything.
My wife will hear a song and go “Oh neat, it’s in 5/8.” And I’m like “How tf do you know that, and why does it matter?”
I’ve had multiple times in my life when people got mad at me for not knowing things I was never told. I have some pretty severe trauma over one especially bad incident and the chain reaction of events it caused.
So I don’t know how others just seem to read each other’s minds to just know things. I don’t know how to know when someone is mad at me until it’s too late, and I don’t know how others apparently don’t have this problem.
this is your own bias working against you.
everyone has this problem. you just don’t see it because you aren’t there every moment of every day in their life, like you are with yourself.
people ‘seem’ to not have this problem because they have learned from experience what other people want, and frankly, what most people want, is mostly the same. so once you figure out the use-case that covers like 90% of people, they are easy to please.
plus most people are dumb animals and if you treat them like they are… you rarely fail.
This 1 million times.
I’ve always told my friends and significant others to just tell me what they are thinking or wanting. It truly is that simple with me. I do not beat around the bush, nor do I appreciate others doing that. We are adults (those I tell this to) so just tell me, “Hey, I want to do this on this day” or “Hey, I really wish you would do this thing”.
“I am not, and never will be, a mind reader.”
Is this like, “I didn’t know you were mad” or “I didn’t realize I was supposed to tip my hairdresser” or “I didn’t realize they’d turn off our electricity if zi didn’t pay the bill”? The first is pretty complicated, but the second two are various flavors of “proactive research is part of maturity”.