Giving my all to work and family with no help in return.

Personally I think you should give people, be it work or family, as much as you get from them, or maybe a little more. If people are asking for more from you, then that might be a good reason to ask for more in return.

always thought making my hobbies more interesting would make people be interested in me but all I get is “Oh cool…anyways-” when I show them the video game I made. When I tell them the book I wrote. When I show them a painting I made.

I think that makes you interesting. Most people don’t make anything, many people don’t have any interesting hobby at all.

What kind of response are you looking for?

Maybe the way you’re talking about it is a bit awkward, so they don’t know how to follow up, and or maybe the people you are talking to are socially awkward and don’t know what to say. Maybe the people you’re trying to connect to aren’t that interested in those things.

They say the only way to cure loneliness is by yourself but that’s a load of bullshit. I can only say I have one friend who I sometimes play games with and talk over discord. I’ve met people but I’m always to initiate conversation, to invite them to do something. Recently, I’ve met people who seemed interested in the work I do and requested my contact info. But yet, my messages remain empty.

Loneliness is cruising. It’s really once of the worst feelings.

I will say, as someone in my 30s also, it’s much harder to be social than it was in the past. I have good friends who I only see a couple of times a year and I will talk to them about making plans to do things only for it to never materialize. But that’s on both of us. We all get a little bit stuck in our daily routine…

I think some people are more likely to initiate a social activity than others, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the other people don’t like you or don’t want to talk to you.

I hear of people I know in my life traveling, winning big amounts of money, getting married, having kids, getting promoted. Me?

There’s no point comparing yourself to others. Nobody starts at the same place, or ends up at the same place. Nobody lives the same life as someone else. Comparison is the thief of joy.

If you were travelling would you be comparing destinations? If you were married would you be comparing spouses?

It’s a pointless exercise, encouraged by shitty social media. It only makes you feel bad.

A virgin with a bachelor’s, in their 30s, living with their parents, stuck in a job for 2 years that still considers me a trainee, and posting a vent online because no one in my life gives a shit about how I’m feeling.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that, except for the last part…

Lots of people live with their parents these days, and you save money on rent and get to have roommates who you hopefully love and get along with. People who rent are also living in someone else’s house… And they’re spending 2k a month for the privilege of doing so.

You’re a virgin, and so is everyone, until they aren’t. Plenty of people lose their virginity in their 30s and I’m sure later too. It’s not hard to find someone to have sex with if you really wanted to, but you are probably trying to find the right person to be in a relationship with and that’s a lot harder. Virginity is something that matters a lot until you lose it and then you can only look back and think “wow I can’t believe I let that worry and embarrass me so much”.

As for your job, you probably need to just be a little bit more assertive. Don’t wait around for a promotion. Ask for one and make a compelling argument for yourself. Just keep in mind that the economy is rough right now, so there’s a balance to strike.

I know you’re tired and you have a right to be, but things will get better if you focus on actionable things you can control. Hang in there, keep making an effort, and consider going to therapy.

Good luck dude.

I’m not trying to diagnose you, but you should look into Codependency.

https://positivepsychology.com/codependency-definition-signs-worksheets/

The TLDR for you is:

• If you are putting more into a relationship than you are getting out because you feel like you’re supposed to
• If you are feeling unworthy or inadequate
• You feel like you need the approval of others to feel happy about yourself

These could be signs of Codependency. A therapist is the answer here, but that can be expensive and hard to access depending on where you are. Another option is to check out books on the subject. Your local library should have some.

One last thing about your relationship with your parents. As you get older, so do they. The dynamic of your parents caring for you has shifted to where you care for yourself. Eventually it will shift to you and any siblings needing to care for them. This is a natural part of the parent child relationship, and shouldn’t be confused with the point above about relationships. They put in the effort when you were a child, and you’ll eventually have to put in the effort when they are seniors.

family members don’t lift a finger to help but you live with your parents. I mean. That sounds a bit like help.

Hey don’t know how old you are but you sound like me a couple of decades ago.

If you don’t want advice, ignore the rest of this, good luck and hope things get better.

You’re not me and may not be what you need. I didn’t really start getting better/healthy until I started setting boundaries. if you’re interested in listening to some advice do this: Go talk to a therapist and the first thing you should say is you need help setting boundaries.

After boundaries, I focused on being nice to myself. I am doing my best. Stop thinking everyone else has it figured out, they don’t. Hell, I don’t. Still learning.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Live in the now. There’s nothing else. Again, be nice to yourself.

Oh and multivitamins, vitamin D and stay hydrated. That’s all i got. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ good luck.

Happy to DM if you just want someone to listen. I don’t know anything except what worked somewhat for me. I still have my shit days.