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Hello, this is the official press office for non-deranged Americans and I’m happy to announce our support for Canada’s associate membership with the EU. Furthermore I would like to say that the Trump Administration can get fucked. I will now take questions.
Hello, Ivan from the Eastern European Times, I have a question: is Florida man somehow related to Balkan Uncle?
distant cousins
There’s a guy on youtube I watch who has been making this joke that Florida was unlawfully stolen from Serbia this whole time. I’m starting to believe…
Florida man and Balkan uncle are surprisingly unrelated to each other in any direct way and are instead examples of convergent evolution wherein similar pressures can create similar ecological adaptations which under the right circumstances result in similar aesthetics. Similarly the Pan American Redneck (Which Florida man is a sub species therein) actually represent merged hybrid populations derived from distinct but ancestorally related populations resulting in the Appalachian, Ozark, and California Rednecks. Though it should be noted that Redneck analogues populations are more than capable of interacting without issue as seen with Australians and California Rednecks or when Appalachian Rednecks interacted with Bosnians during the Bosnian war.
We have our suspicions but as of right now the investigation is ongoing.
With Canada joining, as a North American nation, will it need to rebrand from EU to … what?
Just think of European as the place where the Union has originated. Nothing weird with having hamburgers outside of Hamburg either.
Great European and North American Union. Or GENAU for short.
~yes this joke only works in German. No regrets.~
Atlantic Union?
Although as a Californian I’m also interested in getting in on this which would not work for that.
If CA is joining I don’t see why CA can’t as well.
Just need to join Canada.
The long leg of Canada
It’s only fair. California will be Canada’s Alaska.
No rebranding needed, that’s why they’re not becoming a member but an associated member.
United States of Europe
Except, they aren’t states; they’re each nations.
Nation-state, it technically works
When are you going to stop speaking about supporting Canada and do something as a collective about your own country?
How am I individually supposed to do something as a collective? I have the same amount of control over my fellow Americans as you do. If you have some secret trick to make them behave better then I encourage you to utilize it.
I
The question is to a collective. A lot of you are saying in some form ‘on behalf of Americans…’
You said you’d take questions.
I can imagine how Canadians feel about it. Well I’ve seen their replies to it enough so I don’t have to imagine.
What can you do as an individual? Write to any decent rep to underwrite a national shutdown and find like minded individuals to do the same.
I can guarantee you as a collective will regret doing nothing about Trump if he pulls Canada on.
Listen, if Donald Trump invades Canada over Canada becoming an associate member of the EU, he will spark world War 3 because guess what, Canada is part of NATO.
This got me wondering, what is the protocol if a NATO country acts hostile against NATO country…?
I almost want Trump to invade a NATO country just to see if anything will happen, because my fear is the world will let the Untied States do whatever it wants
“the world will let the United States do whatever it wants”
Yeah, it certainly seems like that… D:
I said Untied States
Oh, my bad
First, he’s going to make Alberta an associate member of the Untied States, then Canada and the Untied States will go to war over Alberta, then European forces will come help Canada, then Denmark will build LEGO walls to protect the oil
I don’t known what to make of America. It’s either a spoiled child going on tantrum for not getting candy, or an entitled old man yelling at clouds. Either way, both are immature and entitled.
It’s a spoiled child going on a tantrum but that child has chainsaws for arms
Yeah, but both are holding a loaded gun and it doesn’t seem like they understand the consequences of using it.
Treatening to annexe Canada is what? An act of kindness?
Fkc theses baiseurs d’enfants
Yeah I wonder who got rid of NAFTA
We would take Canada before we allowed it to annexed by the eu.
Such a gross comment
Go ahead and try. We burned your White House down once, we’ll do it again. You learned nothing from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and it shows. We look like you. A lot of us sound like you. We can blend and infiltrate your shithole. Have fun dealing with guerrilla and asymmetric warfare, never knowing when that buzzing in the sky will be the last thing you hear as a drone blows your ass to kingdom come.
Sounds a lot like some terroristic threats bud.
Yours was a direct military threat towards Canadians. Like the president you reflect and in typical US fashion.
So that’s okay is it?
I said what would happen. And yes by definition discussion of military actions by a state is not terrorism. Terrorism is generally done by a non state actor. Like the whole definition.
I said what would happen
Yeah it’s a threat and taken as one. It won’t happen either successfully, they’ll gut you from the inside. With help from a lot of the rest of us as vigilantes.
and yes by definition
Who gives a fuck Seppo, we’re taking about the threat not the definition. Shove your definition up your arse.
Imagine sayin terror threats online against the USA. Not smart.
What are you going to do, moron?
If your country invades mine, then such a thing does not matter. I and my fellow Canadians can and will defend ourselves and harm the enemy as we see fit, as any country being invaded would do. Russia considers Ukrainians terrorists for defending themselves and destroying their oil infrastructure too, but Ukraine is the one being invaded and has every right to cripple its enemy to reduce the amount of harm Russia can cause. America invading Canada would be no different. Stay on your side of the border, “bud”.
Good luck with that. We may lose in the end, but you’ll pay for every meter… And we have a whole lot of those. If we fall, we’re taking the US with us.
Fuck using their version of ‘metre’. It’s a French word, not an English one.
And yeah, it’d break them permanently. Canada will get plenty of vigilantes from other like minded nations as well.
Annexed? You don’t even know what that word means.
You know, like how Ukraine was annexed by “the West”. /s
It wasn’t though
The /s denotes the end of a sarcastic passage.
